After the Mission
by wickedsingularity
Summary: [One-shot] Your bed after travelling. The feel of fingertips trailing over a bare shoulder blade. Being so close that you can feel your lips brush when you whisper. The tender ache when you press against bruises.


A transport wasn't supposed to take this long. It felt like the planet never dissolved into the white dancing lights. Then there was white nothing for so long I was starting to get worried. But the longest was when the whiteness gave way to the familiar interior of an Enterprise transporter room. It was like watching an antique puzzle coming together. Piece by piece, spot by spot, the white disappeared, until _finally_ after what seemed like years transporter room 2 came into full view.

"Velcome back!" Chekov's all too cheerful voice greeted us all as everyone had materialised. He was a wiz with the transporter, and it had not been an easy beaming, so much interference on the planet, in the atmosphere, from the planet core...

"To the medbay, all of you!" Dr McCoy ordered as he danced around the platform, holding a tricorder up in front of all of us in turn.

The last thing I wanted was to go to the medbay for a check-up. All I needed was a long warm shower, maybe a bath, and to curl up in bed with Jim. The bruises would heal, but the extreme urge to sleep could not be fixed by a hypospray. But Bones would not have it. Sneak away from a post-away mission check-up and he would start the paperwork to have you transferred to a garbage scow.

"You okay?" Jim's voice spoke quietly on my right, as he came up to me and rested his hand on my lower back.

I realised I hadn't moved, and had closed my eyes. "Just tired." I nodded and looked around at him. "And sore."

"Yeah. We all are. And filthy. I'm surprised he wants us in his medbay like this."

* * *

Turned out Bones didn't want filthy crew members in his ward, and had us walked through a portable contamination shower before even leaving the transporter room. And while that took care of any bacteria or other contaminations the transporter didn't already take care of, the filth was still there. As soon as I was given a clean bill of health, I went straight to Jim's quarters for that long shower.

When I was done, Jim still wasn't back. I hoped he was okay, he seemed okay when I left. He had taken a good deal of hits on the mission, but he hadn't been badly hurt. Though... Jim wasn't a stranger to hiding things like that from me. But no, I wouldn't even go there. It just wasn't his turn yet. Bones wanted to be extra thorough with him. He had to do some paperwork first. He wanted to make sure the entire away team was okay before he retired for the day.

The bed called my name. I convinced myself that Jim would come soon, when he was done with one of the excuses I had made up. So, I slung the towel unceremoniously over the chair by the desk and fell down onto the soft mattress. I bounced a little, then wormed my way to my spot. Whatever tension the shower hadn't washed away, rolled off me and I moaned. Loudly.

For a few longs minutes, I just lay there. While my body was beyond exhausted, my eyes were dry as bones, my limbs were heavy as boulders, sleep didn't come to me. Images from the mission flashed past my eyes, and I tried to cast them away and revel in the feel of the soft sheets against my bruised naked body. The contrast to the rocky ground I had been sleeping on for the past three days couldn't be greater.

My back hadn't liked the sleeping arrangements at all, causing an ache to run down into my legs. It had me rolling over onto the side, bending my knees and curling up in a foetal position. I pulled the comforter towards me and it stilled smelled like Jim from four days ago. I held onto it, and the familiar scent of my man made my mind relax and let go of the dark images. My eyes dropped and I fell asleep.

* * *

I don't know for how long I slept. Judging by the ache I still felt in my entire body, it couldn't have been long. But something had poked at my consciousness and pulled me back up to the surface. Slowly, I opened my eyes and saw Jim.

Kneeling on the floor in front of the bed, his arms crossed on top of the comforter I had let go in my sleep, he rested his head on his arms. His usually bright blue eyes were dull, and the angry red, blue and purple cuts and bruises on his face stood in stark contrast to the paleness of his skin.

"Hi, love," he whispered. "Just got back."

I smiled, my eyes falling shut. Feeling his breath on my face was like a balm. "Okay? I asked, thinking of his check-up.

"All things considered, yes. You?"

"Mmhmm," I hummed.

He leaned closer and placed his lips on my forehead, lingering for a long moment. "I'm going to shower and then I'll join you.

I hummed again and was asleep before he reached the bathroom door.

But soon, all too soon, something pulled me up again. I knew it was Jim. Because I felt him settling behind me. I knew the sound of his breaths, the feel of his skin against mine, the scent of his body wash. I let out a sigh of content, and he inched closer.

"You smell good, darling." Jim muttered against my shoulder, lips barely brushing my skin, his breath tickling me.

I let out a dry, sleepy chuckle. "I smell clean, Jim."

His fingers glided up the middle of my back, over my shoulder blade and up, then danced down my arm. Before he slid his arms around my waist, pulling me to him, a dull ache making itself known in my ribs. I ignored it. "That too. But I can smell _you_ again."

The smell of the toxic rain, the mud, the sweat, came back to me. The acidity, the rankness, the... stench that had permeated our clothes, our skin, our cells. Yeah, we had slept under the night sky with four beautiful moons because our survival kits had been stolen, but the rainstorm the second night hadn't washed away the layers of filth, but the sticky substance falling from the sky had made new filth stick that much easier. Not to mention the acid smell of each drop...

I grabbed Jim's hand and pulled it up to my face, taking a deep breath of his clean skin.

"Hey." His nose poked my shoulder. "Turn around. I wanna look at you."

Using up the little energy I had gotten from my two short naps, I turned around in his arms.

"Hi." Before I barely had the chance to really look at him, his lips met mine. They felt dry and chapped from freezing down on the planet, but so familiar. He moved slowly against me, arms pulling me gently against him. Again, a dull ache came from my ribs, and again, I ignored it. I snaked my hands up over his naked chest, feeling his heart beat under my palm. It was the most comforting feeling in the world.

For a few long moments, our lips lingered, pressed against the other. Breathing each other in, and for the first time in days, I felt energized, like I was drawing life from Jim's breath. Eventually, we had to pull away, needing fresh air. But our foreheads leaned against each other, our noses touching.

"I never thought we would make it out of there," I admitted in a whisper.

"I never doubted it for a second," Jim replied.

I pulled back slightly, looking at him. He opened his blue eyes, they had some of their brightness back. "How could you have been so sure?"

"Because I knew I wasn't done holding you in my arms. I knew I wasn't done kissing you like this." He leaned in to do just that, his tongue darting out to wet them just before our lips met. My heart fluttered in my chest as he nipped at my bottom lip. He pulled away just far enough to break the kiss, but close enough so his lips still brushed against mine. "I knew I wasn't done loving you."

"I love you too," I whispered back.

"Starfleet's given us all tomorrow off," Jim continued. "Let's sleep, rest. Spock's got the conn for now."

"I like the sound of that." The little burst of energy I had felt was quickly slipping away.

Jim wound his arms around me again and pulled me with him as he settled on his back. I nestled my head in the dip of his neck and rested my arm across his stomach. He pulled the covers up and I snuggled even closer to him.

"Ouch!" he exclaimed and I snapped my head up, eyes wide and my heart pounding in my throat.

"I'm sorry! What did I do?"

"Nothing nothing, I just have a broken rib."

"James Tiberius Kirk! Why didn't you tell me?!"

Jim smiled tiredly, and the arm around my back pressed on me, signalling I should lie down again. "Because it's nothing to worry about. Just, don't hold me so tight yet. I know it's difficult to keep from hugging me tight, but try, okay?"

"If you weren't injured, I'd hit you right now."

"Sleep, love. Just sleep."

With a little bit more care, I snuggled into him, and settled for tangling my legs with his instead of tying my arms around his torso.

"Computer, lights off," I said to the bright room. Darkness fell around us, and within seconds, we were both asleep.

The reactions to the mission, to what we had been through, what we had seen, would come. I knew that. But for now, I just wanted to sleep all wrapped up in Jim. Gather enough energy to tackle what would come, whatever else space would drop in front of us.


End file.
